4.20.2009
Chocolate
today i learned the difference between dutch-processed and the other kind of chocolate powder. :)
4.17.2009
Appliances
Today after 4 years I have finally learned how to use my toaster oven! I still don't know how to use the electric can opener, however; I had to use a knife and a hammer.
I also learned to make a little photo studio haha.
I also learned to make a little photo studio haha.
4.12.2009
Lost
today i learned that watching lost for 12 straight hours creates a feeling very similar to a hangover; however, unlike a hangover i have no regrets and would do this again in a heartbeat.
i also learned that i can't be trusted to learn things on a daily basis and then post a blog about them. i'm sorry i let you down dear readers (jess).
i also learned that i can't be trusted to learn things on a daily basis and then post a blog about them. i'm sorry i let you down dear readers (jess).
3.21.2009
eggs!
today i learned how to crack an egg properly! i always thought you used your pointer fingers, but no! the trick is in the thumbs!
today is a triumph!
today is a triumph!
3.20.2009
I.Q.
Today I learned that my I.Q. is either 127, 130, 132, or 142 (according to the different tests I took). Even though this is an ego booster, I still think these-and by "these" I mean all I.Q. tests, not just the ones I took- are bullshit.
Oh, and from now on I'm going to put this blog to good use and write about something I learn about each day.
Oh, and from now on I'm going to put this blog to good use and write about something I learn about each day.
3.19.2009
tomatoes
Today I learned that there was a Supreme Court case regarding whether tomatoes were a fruit or a vegetable.
"The plaintiff's counsel then read in evidence from the same dictionaries the definitions of the word 'tomato.'"
"The defendant's counsel then read in evidence from Webster's Dictionary the definitions of the words 'pea,' 'egg plant,' 'cucumber,' 'squash,' and 'pepper.'"
And then the Supreme Court rules that tomatoes are in fact, vegetables:
"Botanically speaking, tomatoes are the fruit of a vine, just as are cucumbers, squashes, beans, and peas. But in the common language of the people, whether sellers or consumers of provisions, all these are vegetables which are grown in kitchen gardens, and which, whether eaten cooked or raw, are, like potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips, beets, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, and lettuce, usually served at dinner in, with, or after the soup, fish, or meats which constitute the principal part of the repast, and not, like fruits generally, as dessert."
What the hell is this? "Tomatoes are a fruit, but since they're served in dinners makes them a vegetable." Does their "general" inclusion in dinners really strip them of being a fruit? When cut do they not bleed seeds? By this logic grapes (botanically speaking) are the fruit of a vine, but the only reason they are classified as such is that they are not served with dinner.
But wait!
Exhibit A: Dinner with grapes (a noted fruit)
What's this?? Is that a dinner... with grapes?? Madness! According to Justice Gray grapes in this instance would be vegetables upon their inclusion into dinner (an inapplicable and preposterous rationale for deciding the fate of an androgynous foodstuff).
I call bullshit! This court case needs to be overturned!
Q.E.D., bitches.
"The plaintiff's counsel then read in evidence from the same dictionaries the definitions of the word 'tomato.'"
"The defendant's counsel then read in evidence from Webster's Dictionary the definitions of the words 'pea,' 'egg plant,' 'cucumber,' 'squash,' and 'pepper.'"
And then the Supreme Court rules that tomatoes are in fact, vegetables:
"Botanically speaking, tomatoes are the fruit of a vine, just as are cucumbers, squashes, beans, and peas. But in the common language of the people, whether sellers or consumers of provisions, all these are vegetables which are grown in kitchen gardens, and which, whether eaten cooked or raw, are, like potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips, beets, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, and lettuce, usually served at dinner in, with, or after the soup, fish, or meats which constitute the principal part of the repast, and not, like fruits generally, as dessert."
What the hell is this? "Tomatoes are a fruit, but since they're served in dinners makes them a vegetable." Does their "general" inclusion in dinners really strip them of being a fruit? When cut do they not bleed seeds? By this logic grapes (botanically speaking) are the fruit of a vine, but the only reason they are classified as such is that they are not served with dinner.
But wait!
Exhibit A: Dinner with grapes (a noted fruit)
What's this?? Is that a dinner... with grapes?? Madness! According to Justice Gray grapes in this instance would be vegetables upon their inclusion into dinner (an inapplicable and preposterous rationale for deciding the fate of an androgynous foodstuff).
I call bullshit! This court case needs to be overturned!
Q.E.D., bitches.
3.12.2009
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
Dearest blog,
I missed the make-over episode of America's Next Top Model yesterday; needless to say, I'm ever so pissed. I hope Allison didn't get eliminated, she's my fave. If I had not have shoved cock (of the shuttle variety) down people's throats all morning in badminton I would be distraught.
Speaking of, I won the badminton tournament today (in P.E.). I was undefeated. Sadly, this is probably the highlight of my high school career. Either that or ditching class to run around the school in astronaut suits instead of cleaning the costume room in theatre arts.
Yesterday I finalized emergency marriage plans with Jess, so I'm pretty much set for life.
I was singing to "I'll Believe in Anything"
hot, hot, hot!
I missed the make-over episode of America's Next Top Model yesterday; needless to say, I'm ever so pissed. I hope Allison didn't get eliminated, she's my fave. If I had not have shoved cock (of the shuttle variety) down people's throats all morning in badminton I would be distraught.
Speaking of, I won the badminton tournament today (in P.E.). I was undefeated. Sadly, this is probably the highlight of my high school career. Either that or ditching class to run around the school in astronaut suits instead of cleaning the costume room in theatre arts.
Yesterday I finalized emergency marriage plans with Jess, so I'm pretty much set for life.
I was singing to "I'll Believe in Anything"
hot, hot, hot!
2.27.2009
Driving Mix
1. The Winner Is - Devotchka
2. Love and Mathematics - Broken Social Scene
3. In The Aeroplane Over the Sea - matt pond PA
4. Dramamine - Modest Mouse
5. I Will Possess Your Heart - Death Cab for Cutie
6. Chicago (adult contemporary easy listening version) - Sufjan Stevens
7. The Past and Pending - The Shins
8. Re: Stacks - Bon Iver
9. Passenger Seat - Death Cab For Cutie
listen to it in this order, enjoy, etc.
download.
Happy Birthday Laura!
Tiger Lily! Thank youuu sooo much for being so nice to me! You got my heart working again so I thought I'd test out my new and improved heart by making a lovey-dovey mix CD for your birthday! I hope you like it!1. Sweet Pea - Amos Lee
2. Do You Realize?? - The Flaming Lips
3. The Start of Something - Voxtrot
4. Fair - Remy Zero
5. Closer - Travis
6. Whistle For the Choir - The Fratellis
7. Boats & Birds - Gregory and the Hawk
8. Say Yes - Elliott Smith
9. First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes
10. Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
11. Must Be Dreaming - Frou Frou
12. Elevator Love Letter - Stars
13. Lover - Devendra Banhart
14. Keep Sending Me Black Fireworks -of Montreal
15. In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - matt pond PA
16. Blood Bank - Bon Iver
17. Shadow Song - The Mountain Goats
18. The Sea and the Rhythm - Iron & Wine
download.
2.25.2009
1.22.2009
naming blogs has always been an art i've never excelled in.
Dearest blog,
On my way home from the high school campus today, I was blaring the 300 soundtrack from my shitty Explorer, windows down.
There was a group of chatty sophist bitches; you know the type: fluffy boots, oranged make-up skin, slightly teased hair, cellphones, bubble gum, and enough lip gloss to glaze a holiday ham.
Returns a King (track 4, for those who are curious) began to play, heralding my approach. These snooty bitches were congregated right in the center of the parking lot, proving a hindrance to my leaving. The clouds seemed to part, and Zeus himself shone light upon a massive puddle, directly adjacent to said bitches.
Time slowed.
My wheels seemed to spin in place as I brought my mighty Ford chariot around the bend, as the chorus reached full timbre. A crescendo of sound and screams mingled into one shining moment as a tidal wave of dirty water was brought down upon their ranks. They were bested and shamed, reduced to the true filth that they were beneath their lacquered appearances. Heads turned; onlookers gawked.
My mighty Spartan laughter echoed from within my vehicle as I sped away, roaring in amusement.
On my way home from the high school campus today, I was blaring the 300 soundtrack from my shitty Explorer, windows down.
There was a group of chatty sophist bitches; you know the type: fluffy boots, oranged make-up skin, slightly teased hair, cellphones, bubble gum, and enough lip gloss to glaze a holiday ham.
Returns a King (track 4, for those who are curious) began to play, heralding my approach. These snooty bitches were congregated right in the center of the parking lot, proving a hindrance to my leaving. The clouds seemed to part, and Zeus himself shone light upon a massive puddle, directly adjacent to said bitches.
Time slowed.
My wheels seemed to spin in place as I brought my mighty Ford chariot around the bend, as the chorus reached full timbre. A crescendo of sound and screams mingled into one shining moment as a tidal wave of dirty water was brought down upon their ranks. They were bested and shamed, reduced to the true filth that they were beneath their lacquered appearances. Heads turned; onlookers gawked.
My mighty Spartan laughter echoed from within my vehicle as I sped away, roaring in amusement.
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